James Bond Series Part 1

Dr. No (1962)

Probably the best opening of all of the franchise in the casino, the strategic shadowing of the face playing against a delicately dressed female just to come out of the dark to reveal Sean Connery as “Bond…James Bond.” Released in 1962 after the downfall of the TV show Casino Royale, the beginning of this endless trek of films was certainly inspiring and influential to all spy/crime movies to follow. Needless to say, the “special effects” were fairly unimpressive in relation to today’s standards, but hilarious nonetheless. The plot involves the evil corporation SPECTRE blackmailing the United States with nuclear weapons, foreshadowing the Cold War a bit, but besides all that Ursula Andress, first and possibly hottest Bond girl, and her white bikini were a main attraction, especially while swimming in the lagoon on Dr. No’s island in the Crab Key. A simple film, but with a unique tongue-in-cheek tone finalized by Dr. No’s headquarters exploding into a million sequels.

[James Bond's first scene, winning a game of chemin-de-fer]
James Bond: I admire your courage, Miss...?
Sylvia Trench: Trench. Sylvia Trench. I admire your luck, Mr...?
James Bond: Bond. James Bond.

From Russia With Love (1963)

The Bond theme song is introduced, the action scenes are more creative and intense, and the dialogue all the more provocative. Connery’s acting is still in the lead; however not all that impressive in the first place, his devil-may-care caricaturist style fits his role quite well. The movie greatly showed up Dr. No by retaining a stronger plot throughout, mostly because of the suspenseful build-up to the main fight sequence between Bond and Red Grant, let alone the fight itself and those that follow. With a mere $2 million budget, you can’t complain about the quality, especially the things that go boom.

James Bond: You're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen.
Tatiana: Thank you, but I think my mouth is too big.
James Bond: No, it's the right size... for me, that is.

Goldfinger (1964)

Goldfinger was important for two reasons. Firstly, Pussy Galore, Oddjob, and the gorgeous Aston Martin. Secondly, Fort Knox explodes and girls are killed by goldification (painted gold, she was goldified). Goldfinger’s release saw the franchise’s popularity explode and flooded the television with numerous wanna-be spy shows. Goldfinger, being the greediest villain in history, attempts to steal all the gold from Fort Knox and once again MI6 has to wipe America’s ass of its problems. Connery’s acting hasn’t gotten better, but he was a great golfer.

[Strapped down to the table with a laser coming towards his crotch]
James Bond: Wait, Goldfinger. Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!

Thunderball (1965)

Innovation has slowly become a main association with the Bond films. In Thunderball alone you have the evil villain steal someone’s face to appear as someone else as he holds millions of people ransom, something Mission Impossible certainly ripped off, and a lengthy fight sequence…under the ocean. Spears and underwater jetpacks galore (Bond’s jetpack was actually functional in real life). This movie was significantly slower than the others due to its even longer running time and random underwater fights, however the director deserves credit for the organization of the fighting underwater with the interesting camera angles, helping set a path for future classics such as Jaws and The Abyss. Also, the opening song for the film was probably the only worthwhile one up to this point.

Pat Fearing: What exactly do you do?
James Bond: Oh, I travel... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.

You Only Live Twice (1967)

Aptly named for James Bond’s hilariously untimely death in the first scene, this is the film where we get to meet the head of SPECTRE, who bears an uncanny resemblance to a one Dr. Evil. He has hijacked US and Soviet rocket ships in order to cause a war between the superpowers, providing a fair amount of room for the plot to expand its creativity. However, as the movie was adapted from the book a few things were lost in translation. Bond’s ninja training was fairly misplaced, let alone his marriage to a Japanese girl, and the addition of Roald Dahl (Willie Wonka, James And The Giant Peach) to the production team had perhaps skewed the true intentions of what atmosphere the story held. On the lighter side, Little Nellie, Bond’s mini-helicopter loaded with mini-guns and rockets, was certainly worth the watch alone.

Blofeld: James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.
James Bond: Yes, this is my second life.
Blofeld: You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

The worst Bond film ever. The only redemption this film holds is when an evil henchmen gets caught in a massive snow blower, coming out the other side all red and colorful. Whoever casted George Lazenby as James Bond was probably fired because his cheerful demeanor was sickening and his lack of classic one-liners didn’t help his cause. It’s not his fault alone, however. The plot is just as unimpressive, dealing with the Swiss spreading germs and Bond getting married, for real this time. Not only does he get married, but his wife is soon shot thereafter…and Bond cries….come on. If that’s not bad enough, he wears a smile and a kilt. At least the directing was good. The camera-men held the cameras between their legs while skiing to shoot the mountain sequences.

James Bond: [when introducing himself] Hi! My name's Bond! James Bond!

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

A very strong return from the disaster of the previous film, Diamonds Are Forever sees the final return of Connery where he belongs, even though his hair is losing luster and his suit is getting a bit tight around the waist. Charles Gray plays the villain Blofeld who returns one last time to plan a diamond heist to power his laser powerful enough to annihilate massive areas from land, sea, or air. He has hired two gay assassins, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, to keep all out of the way. Not a lot of highlights, but a worthwhile watch nonetheless.

Mr. Kidd: Well, they're both aboard, and I must say Miss Case seems quite attractive...
[Mr. Wint glares at him]
Mr. Kidd: ...For a lady.
[pause]
Mr. Kidd: Heh heh heh heh!